Saturday, September 06, 2014

Telling the kids.

A couple of weeks ago, we decided to tell the kids about the adoption (obviously from the video posted the other day), mainly because our home study is quickly approaching and we didn't think it would look very good if we had the social worker come over and tell them for us.  For the Hague accredited home study, the social worker must interview everyone living in the house, so we couldn't put off the conversation for long.

Zak and I sat them down after church and had a family home evening type lesson.  We talked about how Jesus was adopted by Joseph and how I was adopted and what the sealing power does.  Then we explained that Zak and I have been praying about our family and that Heavenly Father wants us to add another family member through adoption.   We mentioned China, but our children really have no idea where that is, so it didn't really sink in at first.  Later we got out a globe and showed them how far away China is, but Storey asked today if the Chinese (in China) are Americans too.  We'll keep working on that.
Since the adoption process is going to take quite a while, a friend of mine, who has adopted several times, suggested that we give them a time table that they can understand, like grade level.  So we told that them we wouldn't be going to pick up the child until Storey is in 2nd grade and Jakson is in the fourth grade.  I am in hopes that it might be next summer, but with everything that needs to happen, I think that's a bit of a pipe dream.

Their initial reaction was super excitement, but then Storey just burst into tears.  She said she was nervous about the change and that our family is just the four of us and it's going to be so different.  I totally understand because I have those same worries.   It is going to be a big change and is a huge step into the unknown.  After hearing a bit more of the details and a reminder that we have a long time to get used to the idea, she calmed down.  But still wants a twin, which will be difficult.
After giving them the news, we had them Skype all of our siblings and let them know.  We felt that gave them some ownership to what was happening and allowed them to be a big part of the excitement.

Several comments from the kids:
  • Jakson: Dad, who is adopted in your family?  Is it Aunt Katy?  And then later when we explaining that the child is going to look Chinese, Jakson said, "Just like Aunt Katy!"  A few weeks ago he thought Aunt Katy was a black person.  He's quite confused about Aunt Katy.
  • Jakson's first question after we told them: Can I get a baby name book from the library?
  • Jakson, also right after we told them: I'm crying happy tears.
  • Storey: Can we get a twin for me?  (she obviously doesn't understand the concept of twins).
  • We explained that China has a rule about only having one child.  Jakson was very worried that when we all go to China, we would have to give one of the kids to them because we have too many.  
  • After we are matched and the Chinese government approves the match, we can start sending gifts to the child at the orphanage.  We told the kids about that.  Storey ran to her room and got the most recent Friend magazine so she could show us an article all about care packages.  She is already planning the first care package we should send using the list in the Friend.
  • Jakson:  We have such a good family.    I thought that was very sweet of him to say.
  • Jakson: What do orphans do all day?  Clean?  (obviously his only orphan reference is "Annie")
  • After we asked Storey how she was feeling, she told us she is "nervexcited"  A new word she coined from nervous and excited.  It's a great way to describe how all of us feel :)


Vanessa said...

What a sweet post. I am nervexcited for you, too! What a fun adventure for the family.

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