Saturday, August 30, 2014

Answers

For the last three years, Zak and I have been trying to figure out what to do about our family size. We've prayed, fasted, taken our question to the Lord over and over and....nothing.

We researched foster care, talked to friends embarking on the foster journey and experienced foster parents, discussed the challenges and blessings fostering would give our children, but just never felt that God called us to foster.

So, we researched domestic adoption, talked to friends embarking on the adoption journey, and watched as some friends dealt with several failed adoptions.  Heartbreaking.   And not something we think the kids (especially Jakson) would be able to handle.  But if the Lord wanted us to adopt, we were willing.   Still, nothing.

After awhile, we decided that maybe "nothing" was our answer.  And we were good with that.  We are a great team of four.  Four fits well in a double bed hotel room.  Rides at Disney are often 2 or 4 across (you know THAT is important to us).   Four ride comfortably in our smaller car.   Our two kids are dearest friends and we love spending time together as family of four.

My mind just kept questioning:  Was doing "nothing" right?

After our move a couple of months ago, family size was not on our minds at all.  Occupying our thoughts instead were house goals: adding walls, knocking down walls, painting furniture, building furniture, unpacking the garage, putting up a pergola, removing chair rail, buying couches.  The biggest goal we had was a major kitchen renovation and I was ready for it.

But then the question snuck in again.  Zak and I talked about it and decided that we were going to take "nothing" for an answer once and for all.  A decision needed to be made and maybe the Lord was letting us make it, so we did.

The next week was testimony meeting (members of the congregation bear testimony of their beliefs).  Our good friend Joel bore his testimony about a difficult, life changing decision he needed to make.  It was going to effect his career and his family.  He said that he wrestled with the choice for awhile and didn't seem to receive an answer.   He was living righteously, praying, reading his scriptures, and understood that sometimes the Lord stretches us by allowing us to make a decision first and then confirming that to us.  In this case, Joel felt that he deserved an answer for this big, life changing decision and after exercising his faith, he received it.

That was the beginning of my answer. 

I told Zak that we deserved an answer too.  The Lord would not desert us with such a weighty decision.  He would be faithful.  And "nothing" wasn't our answer (I have to admit though, I really really hoped "pregnancy" wasn't the answer).

The answer came.  Line upon line.  Here a little and there a little.

My parents were getting ready for their year stint teaching in China.  My mom made the offhand comment that she was going to pick up a baby for us in China on her way home.

Then we had our friend Alison and her family over for dinner.  They adopted a little boy from China eighteen months ago.  Alison and I talk a lot, but for some reason never in depth about Mason's adoption.  Until dinner at our house.  We spent a couple of hours discussing all of the ins and outs of adoption from China.  I think she thought Zak and I were just interested as friends, but we ended the night by telling her that we were genuinely interested for ourselves.  Something that shocked even us.

The following Sunday at church, talks were given that seemed to be just.for.us.  Like the Lord was trying to tell us something....

This time we prayed with what we thought might be our answer.   And rather than "nothing", we were given a big something.  A something unexpected.  A something kind of scary.  But a something that is right.

The Vermillions are adding one more.  This time all the way from China.

5 comments:

Caroline said...

Wow, Beth! That is amazing! Good luck on your adoption journey! I hope all goes smoothly!

Megan said...

I am so excited/happy/nervous for you guys! I can't wait to meet the new addition and I hope everything goes so smoothly for you guys! We love you!

j&krosser said...

How exciting! Lucky kid that gets to be a part of your family!

Cath said...

So, so grand & wonderful! Congratulations!!!

rawhide said...

I liked this post....and how real it is. Yeah for trials of our faith. I still remember when I found out that you were adopted and how awesome I thought it was....and how crazy that you looked like your siblings. I hope the process doesn't take too long and that you guys find a cute little Chinese baby to join your family. SO AWESOME!!!

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