Friday, August 19, 2011
Posted by bethany at 6:50 AM
My boy starts kindergarten on Monday. My little tiny baby. I feel.... Actually I'm not quite sure. Excited, sad, worried, unprepared, nervous, proud, old. I'm feeling very introspective. Did I use my time with him at home wisely? Did I play with him enough? Did I instill a sense of self strong enough that mean kids won't phase him? What will our mornings be like without him?
How did he get to be so big?
I didn't think I'd be feeling so sentimental. The whole school thing has just been one more task to mark off my list for quite awhile. Probably because getting to this point was a fight and very stressful. Deciding on a school and then convincing the administration to accommodate Jakson the way he needs was the source of many weeks of distress. My biggest obstacle, a shortened school day, was also the most important. Jakson is not ready for a full day of kindergarten. He gets overstimulated so easily and a long playdate often results in a 45 minute meltdown in his room. Not a pretty scene. It was best for the teacher, classmates, myself, and, most importantly, Jakson, to take the time to ease him into a full day. But according to them, the district "just doesn't do that".
Well, they do now, my friends.
Once that problem was solved, I figured it would be smooth sailing. Drop him off. Wave goodbye (hopefully without any sort of anxiety attack on his side). The end. But I am feeling more and more unprepared and sappy. A lunch? What the heck do I put in his lunchbox? He's just a baby! Should I make him a special breakfast? He's just a baby! Will I be able to keep from crying? He's just a baby!
Gosh, this is harder than I thought.
He's my little baby. When did he get big enough to leave me for school???