Monday, October 25, 2010

I hate to complain....

but today has been a day of suck.

Not so much this morning. It started out well. The kids let me sleep in a little and when Jak woke up, he came and snuggled with me. Then we watched Dinosaur Train and a little Electric Company (I've got a pocket full of H's that I'm not afraid to use), ate breakfast, and did some laundry.

That's when I came up with the brilliant plan to go to the store. Looking back, I'm pretty sure that the devil planted the idea in my mind. Or the devil's minions. The whole experience was pretty much like I imagine hell would be.

After parking, Jakson unbuckled himself and I worked on getting Storey out. As I pulled her out of the car, I noticed Jakson was missing. Looking towards the store, I spotted him in the middle of the road.

This is probably the most annoying-slash-dangerous aspects of autism-he just doesn't.get.it. Danger is not a part of this child's vocabulary.

I was yelling at him to come back when I see IT. IT being the car backing up right into my son.

I screamed and yelled, the car stopping mere inches from his small body, A million emotions raced through me---anger, fear, relief. I rushed over, grabbed him, and started my "parking lots are dangerous" lecture. But since he never looks at my eyes, I can't tell if he's paying attention to me or off in la-la land thinking about his Buzz Lightyear costume. There are no words to express how frustrating that is. I'm pretty sure the lecture did not sink in since he ran out into the road ahead of me as we left the store.

There are so many times when I am just at a loss as to how to parent him. I feel like I am failing miserably.

On the way home, Storey starting screaming about something or another (she's drama) and continued to wail and throw herself around in the parking lot of our complex as I unloaded the groceries. Finally, I scooped her up and put her in time out until she calmed down.

When I came back downstairs I called to Jakson. And called. And called. He was nowhere. A search of the house ensued (that took about 1 minute, one perk of small living quarters) with no success. Getting very worried, I opened the front door only to discover that he had let himself out of the house and was playing in the parking lot. Needless to say, I was not happy. Not at all. This time I skipped the lecture, stuck him in his room, and gave myself a few minutes of "Mommy time out."

Seriously, I think this child might give me a heart attack by 31.

10 comments:

Anna said...

Yikes! I think something's in the air, though... it seems that everyone I know with a kid or two under 5 is having a hard time with them. I gave myself a mommy timeout just the other night - I needed it more than him.

You're a good mom.

Megan said...

Ok seriously that is totally a day of suck!!! So I have followed your recommendations and have been reading one of Temple Grandin's books and she talks exactly about how when she was younger she had the same problem Jakson did. She didn't realize that the road and cars were dangerous. She says that the realization came when her nanny pointed out a cat that had been run over by a car. Now I am not suggesting that you go find some road kill and point it out to Jakson, I just thought that it was interesting that she didn't realize the dangers involved, the same as Jakson.

I do hope your day goes better and I promise a whole night of babysitting when you guys come down to Vegas!!

Sabrina said...

Oh my word! Beth, I have no words. I am sorry friend. At least you found him/saved him both times. Yowzers...

KatieB said...

what a day. i recently heard about a FHE that involved rolling a watermelon into the street and having a car run over it. quite the powerful object lesson...

Covey and Justin said...

You're a good mom! I saw one of those magnets that has a hand on it and you stick it to the side of the car and they have to touch the magnet until you tell them otherwise. Could you maybe just get some magnetic backing and print and laminate a buzz lightyear and tell him he has to high five Buzz until you get him? You could keep it in the door and stick it to the side of the car as you get out. Once it becomes routine he might stick to it??

bethany said...

Great minds think alike Covey-I actually contacted that company (called Parking Pals) earlier this afternoon and asked about doing a review!! I think it would work great because it's something concrete rather than just an abstract instruction....

Stacy said...

Shoot. I am so sorry. I hate it when kids try to kill us moms. We went to Target today and I was totally that mom that people stare at and think, "Why would she take those monsters out in public??" We all know that mom that looks like her head might explode at any given moment. Sorry you had such a rough day. We had to get some flip locks, from Home Depot for like a buck, put on all our doors. My second one likes to escape if you aren't looking. And we all know mama has to shower sometime. :)

Camille said...

You're a great mom Beth :)

Lori said...

WOW! I have to say that as we've prayed and talked about having another child, one of my biggest concerns is how to have an infant with me and Jack b/c he's does wander so much!! It's so difficult b/c most people could explain the dangers to their 3 year old but it doesn't really work that way with our guys. We do have a bell on our outside doors so we know if he lets himself out of the house.

And I have a totally biased opinion as well, but I think kids with autism are the most beautiful too!!

Shenna said...

What a scary experience! I was freaking out for a second until I read that you were able to stop the car. Glad everything turned out o.k.

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