Saturday, September 11, 2010

Things to do if you are 4 and refuse to sleep at night

  1. Slip on your Max costume to check the fit. Jump around a lot.
  2. Fiddle with your nightlight until it breaks. Scream because you are deathly afraid of the dark.
  3. Yell that you have to go to the potty. Go into the bathroom, realize that you don't actually need to do anything, go back to bed.
  4. Change your pajamas at least 3 times. End up with completely-inappropriate-for-summer flannel polar bear pajamas.
  5. Move all of your bedding to the closet.
  6. Lie inside the closet and kick the walls-it makes such a satisfying sound.
  7. Yell that you have to go to the potty. Go into the bathroom, unroll half a roll of toilet paper, realize you don't need to do anything, go back to bed.
  8. Figure out how to use a matchbox car to unlock the bedroom door from the inside.
  9. Unlock the door and look around until Mommy or Daddy yell from downstairs.
  10. Repeat #9 & #10 four or five times just to make sure parents are really paying attention.
  11. Read a dinosaur book out loud, complete with dying moans when the dinosaurs eat each other.
  12. Lie on the floor and yell into the air conditioning vent. Tell mom that you need her to make you a dinosaur blanket.
  13. Scream and cry because dad didn't give you the medicine that you gagged and threw up two hours earlier.
  14. Collect all of the pajamas that have been thrown from the drawer (see earlier escapade). Layer all of the shirts. Decide to change your name to Hanz, or maybe Franz.
  15. Yell that you have to go the bathroom. Go into the bathroom. Ask mom for a magazine to read. Sit on the toilet and read said magazine (preferably Food Network) until mom notices you aren't doing anything. Go back to bed.
  16. Throw a huge tantrum because you ___________ (don't like water parks, want to see Megan and Kiefer, run out of water in your cup, can't find your dinosaur, forgot to take vitamin, etc).
  17. Realize too late that you actually DO need to go to the bathroom.
  18. Poop in your underwear.


Camille said...

You guys are angels. Seriously, I would rip my hair out. Sure you don't want to adopt Lester as a distraction?

Shenna said...

Sounds like a very exciting night for all involved (with a very unfortunate ending)! :)

Cannwin said...


My 3 year old used to strip down at bedtime. I have some priceless pictures of his nudey bum after he's fallen asleep. lol, I love children.

hillari said...

man oh man! What a fun filled night for all. yikes.

Cara said...

Oh Bethany! What a night. My guy has done SOME of those things...though not all at once. I wrote a post recently about life with a spirited child. Never a dull moment, right? Hoping there are many smooth nights in your future! :)

Melissa said...

I just knew that last one was coming, just classic. Well, Bethy, at least you can laugh, better than crying. :)

bethany said...

Unfortunately, since we moved, this has been an every night occurrence. We knew it was coming because of the change, but it's still pretty annoying.

Jen and Reed said...

HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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