My Jak

We are discovering as pictures come down from the walls and boxes stack up that Jakson isn't taking the change well.

He doesn't exactly have the vocabulary to express his distaste, so he has been acting out in other ways.

Remember the book eating incident of '08?
It seems that when Jakson is stressed, he lashes out by eating books. The other day during naptime, he ate half of each page of a board book.

Previous victims

Jak's room is now a no-book zone.

He has also been shoving Storey every time he encounters her. Brotherly affection.

In my education classes at BYU, the professors always emphasized that as teachers, we should not reinforce negative behavior by calling attention to it. Only award postive behavior. When I was in the classroom on a daily basis it was definitely easier to follow their advice because there was at least one person doing something good that I could call attention to all the time. As a parent, though it's harder to do.

I'm pretty sure some of Jakson's naughtiness comes from not fully understanding the changes around our house (Daddy's home all the time, things disappear into boxes, Mommy is more frazzled than usual) and the aura of stress, but most of all his need for attention.

After figuring this out (and feeling like terrible parents for awhile), we've been making a conscious effort to give him more one on one time. Right now, it's in the form of potty training-which is turning out to be a total joke. He likes sitting on the toilet because either Zak or I sit right next to him and play games, sing songs, read books.....but nothing ever happens on his end (pun not intended, but it is a good one!).

We may be working on this until he is 25.

Every night before Jak goes to bed, one of us will lay in bed with him and read a couple of books, say prayers and "cuddle". This has been the routine since he moved to a big boy bed.

When he was smaller, we would rock and sing songs to him as well, but lately he has been covering my mouth when I sing. I am apparently already embarrasing him.

A couple of nights ago, as we were lying there, he turned to me and said "Bobby, sing song." So we sang Popcorn Popping, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam and did all the actions. Then I started on I am a Child of God. Jakson's little voice joined in and sang all the words. I think it was the cutest thing I have ever heard. Melt my heart.

It was a good mommy moment.
I think we both needed that.

Monkey Business

Storey loves her brother so much that when it came time to choose her comfort item, she chose the stuffed animal that reminded her of him the most.

A monkey.

Chocolate Therapy

Being unemployed has introduced Zak to the joys of feeting (eating your feelings, known from here on out as feeting). Baking seems to relieve stress (and so does eating the baked goods). The idea that I was going to lose weight from the stress was a figment of my imagination. Instead I think I've gained about 10 pounds. Soon people are going to ask me if I'm pregnant again. This time I'll be giving birth to a chocolate chip cookie.

I decided Saturday night as the Kitchenaid was whirring that I'm going to have a signature dessert when we move. A dessert that I'm known for, remembered by. People will want to be my friend because of its goodness.

And as long as you promise to let me have my glory if I move in next door to you, I'll share the recipe.

Anyone have a house next door for rent? I'd love to move in.Chocolate Bars
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup butter
2 eggs
4 cups oatmeal
2 cups flour
1 tps baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
Cream butter and sugars, eggs, and vanilla. Stir in rest and mix well. Spread 2/3 of this mixture in the bottom of a jelly roll pan.

Melt together:
1/2 cup butter
1 can sweetened condensed milk
12 oz chocolate chips
Spread melted mixture over top of oatmeal layer in pan. Sprinkle the leftover oatmeal mixture on top.

Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes.

Thanks Jeannette!! (the recipe sharer)

Struggles

No one is free from struggle. I am realizing this more and more the older I get.

And one person's struggle is no more or less difficult than anothers. I think sometimes we look at each other and think, "I wish I had her life. It is perfect."

But I guarantee it's not. And if all of the trials in each person's life we laid out on a table, I think we all would choose to take ours back rather than trade.

I'll be honest. I have been throwing myself some wicked awesome pity parties this week. Black balloons, depressing music, the whole bit. And no one was invited. It's more fun to revel in your misery alone because then you can be a martyr.

Partying made me realize something. It doesn't make anything all better. In fact, it might actually make things worse. There is no faith or hope in the depths of despair (name that book) and without faith or hope, where will we be? Exactly. Grappling around in the dark alone.

There is a hand outstretched in the darkness. I just need to have the faith to grab His hand and be led. I'm learning that it's a hard thing to do and sometimes my impatience and humanness causes me to run ahead or let go to try and find my own way, but He is always there and I need to trust His plan for our family.

Easier said than done. But I am going to refocus this next week. Faith. Trust. Hope.

'The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord' (Job 1:21)

Talks I'm using as inspiration this week:

Faith in Adversity
Adversity

If you don't have anything nice to blog, don't blog anything at all.

This is my mantra at the moment. Anything I have to say would be depressing, so I'm waiting until I have a better attitude before writing.

It's like a virtual time out to for an attitude adjustment.

Surrounded

We've taken the pictures down from the walls and all the books from the living room are packed up. We own a ridiculous amount of books.

Zak mentioned that since he has technically not received a formal offer yet, we might be jumping the gun. Hmmm...

Even so, we continue to stack boxes up.

And I'm purging my fabric to get ready for the move. Check out the destash in my shop-I'll be adding more all weekend!

Life on the edge

Storey loves to suck the water off the dishes I'm rinsing to put in the dishwasher, but because I won't just hand them over to her (that's gross!), she has decided to take matters into her own chubby hands.

Upside Down

16 days ago Zak was laid off.

And our lives were turned upside down.

Thankfully, we have felt the Lord's hand, as we have moved into the dark unknown of this journey.
What He wants for us is definitely not what we would have chosen for ourselves.
The direction we're going would have been one of our last choices, but we are letting ourselves be led by Him.

As we have prayed and given our situation over to the Lord, the path has become obvious.

Zak has applied to over 60 firms at this point.
Phoenix-over 20
Texas-over 35
Utah-less than 10

He has heard back from
Phoenix-0 (he's heard back from quite a few, they are just all laying off)
Texas-2
Utah-4

Two of the 4 he's heard back from in Utah have turned into interviews and then into verbal offers.
The jobs are EXACTLY what he wants to be doing and for more pay that he was receiving before he was laid off.
Can you see where our road is leading us?

Definitely not our first choice.
Or our second.
But, I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord.

Unemployment Benefit #4

All those unemployment jokes.

Zak: Where would I be without my good looks?
Me: (rolling eyes) I don't know
Zak: The answer is, unemployed AND ugly.

Zak: That's what I do. It's what I'm good at.
Me: Nothing?

Me pestering Zak about his to-do list
Zak: Hey, lay off!
Me: That's already happened. You really want twice in one week?

I laugh because I must not cry. -Abraham Lincoln

Unemployment Benefit #3

Unemployment makes you skinny.

Or at least that's what I hope.

Eating strictly from food storage can't hurt, right?

I realize this is a boring picture of someone else's food storage. I was going to add an image of a really skinny model to give you a taste of what I'm going to look like in a few weeks, but I was too afraid to Google "skinny model" for fear what would show up.

Unemployment Benefit #2

When you're unemployed, you get to travel to far off, exotic destinations to interview for new and exciting job opportunities.

I guess I should clarify that.

SOME people get to travel to far off, exotic destinations.

Just not us.

Unemployment Benefit #1

Seeing as we're making less a week on unemployment checks than Zak used to make in one day, it's getting harder to see the positive side of layoffs.
In order to turn this frown upside down, I've decided that this week is going to be

Unemployment Benefit Week.

Each day I'm going to list one great thing about being unemployed.

Keep in mind-some of these may seem like a stretch, but let's be honest, it's unemployment we're talking about.

Benefit #1: Zak is now one step closer to becoming Mr. Darcy: Man of Leisure.

Man of leisure means a man without employment, a gentleman if you will.

Okay, the definition also involves some sort of inheritance to live on, but do we really need to get technical about these things?
Mr. Darcy often traveled into London for "business" or to "settle his affairs", but how do we really know that Austen didn't mean he was in the midst of a frantic job search?

I'm just sayin'.

GAM '09---May Goal

April Goal Update
April's goal changed when I figured out that I was going to have to finish two twin sized quilts before the end of the month. I have actually never attempted such a large quilt before, let alone two.

One of the finished quilts I posted about last week. It was for my brother in law Tyler and featured 12 photos from his mission. He came to visit and I wanted it done so he could take it home with him. Unfortunately, it did not fit into his suitcase, so despite the fact that it is finally finished, it is still sitting in my sewing room. At least it's not making me feel guilty anymore.

The other quilt was made for the Ethiopian Orphan's Relief Auction, Lights of Hope, on May 9th. I've made quite a few memory quilts for various parents who have adopted from Ethopia. Recently, one of the board members asked if I would mind putting together a patchwork quilt including some of the children's drawings to be auctioned off. With the help of some of the Relief Society ladies (thanks guys!!), I was able to get everything cut out, sewn, quilted and sewn within two weeks!! I really love the bright fabrics that were chosen!

The front:

I am glad to have those projects finished! They can finally be checked off my TO DO list.

May Goal-More of a family goal this month
Get a job. A real career job, not just the local gas station. And maintaining a positive attitude about our current situation.

I have a feeling that May is going to bring many changes for our family, big decisions and stress. Zak and I have a myriad of emotions about the prospects, ranging from sheer terror to excitement and peace. I think that's really all I can handle right now in the way of making goals. But I have big plans for June!

Get a Job!

Our friend Phil has been instrumental in Zak's job hunt process. As a Human Resources Manager for a financial company, Phil looks at hundreds of resumes every day--he knows what works and what doesn't. He has been giving Zak lots of tips and ways to stand out when searching for employment.

Phil recently started up a resume editing business to assist those who want help revamping their resumes. He edited (read: rewrote) Zak's and when we get a new job, it will be because of Phil.

Now, he has taken it a step further and is sharing his insider information for free on his new blog-The Get a Job! Blog. Phil has some really great, outside of the box ideas and we are going to be trying them all!! Read his first blog post here.

Thank you Phil!!

Generosity

I really don't even have words for how grateful I am.
Every day more blessings are sent our way.

Last night, a friend brought me two bags of produce.
I was at the Farmer's Market and just bought WAY too much.
Will you take some of this off my hands?

A friend I haven't seen since high school wrote a post about the shop after purchasing enough to pay next month's water bill.
My Paypal account is now $500 wealthier.
That will pay for our Cobra insurance that starts today.

Zak has received about 30 emails with referrals to job contacts or references.
Some from people we hardly know.

Even my brother and his wife purchased from the shop last night. Under normal circumstances, I would refund their money along with a note that they are being silly.
But we aren't in normal circustances, and I am quickly learning that people WANT to serve us and I should allow our family to be the grateful recipients of such service.

It will our be turn to serve others again soon.

Today, Julie from Joy's Hope (of Cora's Playground Messy Flower fame), posted a giveaway for me. A giveaway that had been arranged before the illusive layoff.
Knowing that Zak has no job and I am supporting our family by sewing, she wrote the nicest post that I've ever seen.
We've never even met.

I am so grateful
It's another day of my cup running over.

Enter the giveaway for an I Spy Quilt here.