Thursday, October 08, 2009

Poop Post

Do you ever have those days when you swear that your children are conspiring against you?

Storey had surgery yesterday in the early morning to get tubes.
Thankfully, everything went smoothly and she seems to have fully recovered.
Which means, she's back to her ridiculously dramatic self.
(Something else I blame on Zak's side of the family.
I mean, seriously, I have NEVER been dramatic about ANYTHING. Right, mom?)

But then the fun began.

I thought it would be a nice mother/son activity to make some spiders to hang up for Halloween (tutorial to come tomorrow).
Everything was going well until Jakson wanted to pick up the styrofoam balls that we had just painted and bring them inside.
They were still wet and he RUINED his clothing.
There is nothing that can be done-I even tried the miracle cleaner I've heard others swear by.
Good thing his whole outfit only cost me $2.

Then, while I was upstairs rocking Storey, he went into the bathroom to "wash his hands" (a.k.a. play in the water) and left the water running.
Something I didn't discover until AFTER I laid him down for a nap about a 1/2 hour later.
Wouldn't be a big deal, except that I had put the stopper in the sink to soak his pants and he hadn't removed it.
Of course he hadn't. He's three.
The result was an overflowing sink and a wet floor.
And a mad mommy.

Once I was done cleaning that up, I went upstairs because I could still hear him not napping.
What I found was not pretty.
I first encountered a diaper sitting outside his bedroom door. Full of poop. Disgusting.
Even more disgusting was what was waiting for me inside his room.
Jakson and the Poop Disaster of 2009.
He had apparently taken off his diaper and then proceeded to smear poop like paint all over his body. What possesses anyone to do such a thing? Monkeys, yes. Humans, no.
He had then rubbed his poop encrusted skin all over his sheets, on the wood railings around his bed, the walls......and we're not talking baby poop, but man poop.
Gross to read about, but even grosser to clean.
(How many times can I say "poop" in one blog post? I'm going for the record, people.)
So, there went nap-time. The only time of the day when I can actually get something done.

My mother in law said the only good thing that comes out of incidents like this is that I can bring it up when he's a teenager. In front of all of his friends.
Sweet revenge. Although it isn't much consolation while you are scrubbing poop.

Did I mention that I had Enrichment (our women's church meeting) at my house last night?
Maybe Jakson just wants people to nail down their impression of me right away.
The girl with the flooded, poop smelling house.
What a dear.

And just in case you were wondering-9 times.
There were 9 times that "poop" appeared in this post. Now 10.
If you count the title, it's actually a whopping 11.
Do you suppose Guinness reads my blog?

15 comments:

Megan said...

I don't know whether to laugh or be disgusted at this story...so I think I am a little of both. My mom told me this story last night but let me tell you, your version was WAY worse than hers. Man, Beth...that is no fun and I am sorry.. but it was a good story.

Anne said...

I laughed so hard I cried. But the funny thing is, if I had kept a diary (blog) of things when you were that age, it would be pretty similar. Trust me, I know just what you're talking about.

Bridget said...

I feel for you, I really do! I've only had a minor problem like that once but we did have a little one who liked to gag herself to the point of throwing up every single nap time for 3 months.

I laughed really hard when I read your post in my google reader and the next post under yours was one about a free freshmatic air freshener. I should pass it on ;).

*katie* said...

Oh mercy me, that's TERRIBLE!! I keep hoping that I'm past this point, but since I have TWO boys who are 2 1/2, I don't think I have a chance...you deserve a medal of some sort for surviving the cleaning up and for your son surviving....and then for still having enrichment at your house. serious props to you!

Amanda said...

That sounds like the worst mommy day ever!

Melissa said...

I will admit that is a pretty horrible day. Yikes... But I am glad to hear Storey is well after the tubes so far. I wanted to share another poop story with you.

http://plumbelievable.blogspot.com/2009/09/princess-of-poop-warning-disgusting.html

This is my cousin Cami and her experience with her 3 year old son Ezra. You have to read it!!! It might just make you feel a little (maybe only a very very little) bit better.

Veronica said...

Oh-my-gosh. I am so sorry. I feel my kids conspire against me all the time. The middle one is the ring leader of it. Oh, the joys of being a mom!!!!

Princess Martha said...

That is sooo very funny...I have a stitch from laughing. I would have been dry heaving while cleaning.

Cara said...

That sounds like a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day. But it made for a good blog post. We had one of those too, but ours involved lots and lots of vomit and slipping and falling in said vomit. Not as bad as poop though.

Melissa said...

Oh dear Beth, that is one bad day. So yucky!!! But, I'm sorry, Storey definitely inherited the drama from her mother. =) Let's give Zak a break on this one.

Lisa & Gerald said...

Oh you poor thing..When we were little my little brother was about the same age..he did the same thing..

Stacy said...

YUCK! To be honest I might have closed the door and made Steve handle it when he got home!!!

Rachel H. said...

Hi, I stumbled onto your blog from craftgossip. All I can say is I feel your pain! I read through some of your past blogs, and well, lets just say your Jakson sounds just like my Jacob! The things you've written are things I've experienced! Jakey (Jake-e) at three scaled a smooth metal post and pulled himself onto the roof of the house! So, don't feel like you're alone! We have a "dare devil" too :)

Audra Bollard said...

AHHHHH! I am so dying for you. Even if it makes a good blog post, living the reality of really cleaning that up is awful. Cheers to you for doing the only thing you can and trying to make it funny. Glad things with Storey went well.

Seth and Peggy said...

Okay, I digress. I was completely wrong about the potty training. I am so sorry.

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