Sunday, October 22, 2006

Barfing Baby + Million Dollar Home = Disaster

Jakson has a tendency to spit up at odd and inconvenient times. It doesn't matter if it has been four hours since he last ate, he must store it somewhere that's easily accessible because he has barfed on many an unsuspecting person (including the nice lady that we sat next to on the airplane-she wanted to hold our "cute baby"-little did she know). I went to CA to visit Melissa, Katie, and Audra and while there Liss and I decided to go and look at some model homes. I didn't grow up where a decent sized house was listed at over a million dollars. In Texas you can get 25 acres and a cattle ranch for that price, so I was curious to see what you would get for the money. Inside the first home-listed around 2 million dollars, I put Jakson down to crawl around while I looked at the first floor. Not two minutes after I laid him down, he yaked all over the floor, not once, but twice. Big barfs-he doesn't do anything halfway. Fortunately, it was a wood floor, but unfortunately, it was the kind with the big grooves in between each slat and his puke seeped down into the cracks where it would be impossible to clean without a toothbrush or something. Of course, a model home doesn't have any paper towels or toilet paper (or toothbrushes), and although Melissa suggested using a towel from the bathroom, in the end we decided that it would be best to try the bathroom in the sales office. Well, the sales office "didn't have a bathroom" (I think they were just mad because I wouldn't sign their contact paperwork when we first came in), and she directed me to the porta-potty outside, assuring me that it was incredibly clean. I don't when she had been in there last (I knew there was a bathroom inside and they just didn't want the white trash-me-using it), although it was anything BUT clean!! Someone had been in there previously (another lowlife like myself) and had left a rather disgusting memento behind. So, I am trying to juggle a baby, while holding my breath (so that I don't vomit too) and grabbing as many paper towels as I can. I didn't get too many, but was forced to leave because I ran out of breath. I informed the sales lady that her bathroom was, in fact, not clean and went back to the house, feeling less terrible about leaving Jakson's calling card stuck in the cracks of the million dollar wood floor.


Melissa said...

Wow, that makes for a good story...

Audra Bollard said...

hilarious! and, now i know never to buy a 2 million dollar model home--who knows how many jaksons have thrown up on the floors?! you just can't take risks like that . . . i mean, it's so much cleaner in my condo built in 1975 of course!

it was SO fun to see you and catch up bethy!

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