Favorite movie: Parent Trap
Monday, October 20, 2014
Favorite movie: Parent Trap
Sunday, October 05, 2014
Zak and I sat on the beach yesterday and talked about the amazing opportunities our family has experienced because of autism. Not only have we been stretched (in good ways, mostly) as parents, but autism has given our family the chance to see so much goodness in others. Between Disneyland (which still brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it), Jakson's therapists, Elijah's Retreat, autism friendly movie showings and festivals, we have encountered some of the best, most compassionate people.
As I stood in the waves, watching Jakson surf, and talking to one of the co-founders of Waves of Impact, a feeling of gratitude overcame me. People are amazing.
Waves of Impact travels to several beaches in the U.S. providing "surf lessons" to children with autism (and their siblings) at no cost. All of the instructors are volunteers and, judging by the ones we met yesterday, are incredibly patient and kind towards the children they are working with. They might also be magic since Storey cries at the drop of a hat and at one point during her lesson flipped off the surfboard, landed face first in the water, was placed back on the board by her instructor (Corbin), and just kept going. MAGIC, I tell you.
Jakson didn't want to go at first (he was afraid surfing was dangerous, sharks would eat him, etc) but after a few YouTube videos and seeing pictures of other kids from his school that have attended in the past, he agreed that it might be fun. On the way home from Galveston, he asked if he can have surfing lessons, so I'd say it was a success (even if he looks grumpy in the picture below, he was just REALLY cold).
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Our lives have been consumed by paperwork, school, and photo shoots to pay for said paperwork.
The paperwork started with getting approved by our home study agency and the placement agency (two different agencies---home study agency is local). To make sure we aren't serial killers and that sort of thing. Part of the approval process was begging people that we think like us okay to write nice things to the agency. A portion of the reference letter asked for "talents/skills" for the husband and wife individually (should I be scared to know what people filled in about me?? Possibly "finds trash and sells it" would be frowned on). I will not name names, but after we had been approved, one of these very kind friends called me to say that she and her husband had a difficult time coming up with "talents/skills" for Zak, bless his heart. Her husband mentioned that he "makes a mean cherry pie" (true) and then "is obedient to what his wife tells him to do" (not a talent AND makes me sound a bit abusive). I love our friends. Also, for the record, while Zak isn't usually the one to dream up projects or crazy ideas, he is talented enough to execute them. So there.
Besides paperwork, we also had to have a couple of doctor's appointments-physicals-and blood work (let's not talk about it. It's making me sweat just thinking about the pain) to ensure we aren't carrying around crazy diseases.
Side note: I read somewhere many years ago that if you redirect the pain to another area of your body, the pain that you really feel will dull. It doesn't make a ton of sense, but let's go with it. And in case you haven't figured it out, needles = death. IMHO. Because I'm brilliant, I went with the whole redirect the pain idea (and still do, frankly), and chose to dig my fingernails into my forehead (the consequences of this did not occur to me--I was young and my frontal lobe wasn't fully developed. Or something like that.) Over Christmas break from college, I had to get blood drawn for some reason I can't remember (it must have been serious, because, NEEDLES!) and when I walked out with fingernail marks across my forehead, my mother informed me that she was embarrassed to be seen with me. Now that's love. But it was a good lesson (mother knows best, right STOREY??!?!) and since then I've been pinching myself in more discreet places.
In other news, we've started our annual "apply for grants to pay for Jak's therapy" party a little early this year because once we get our home study back (should be mid-October), we'll have about 20 adoption grants to apply for. Many people say they apply for 20 grants and only receive one for $1000. But hey, that's $1000 I didn't have before. Good thing I was obsessed with applying for scholarships my senior year in high school and have lots of practice with this sort of thing. And that most of these grant applications look about the same. Too bad there's no "copy/paste" function in my pen. Technology has spoiled me. I will say that its a million times easier to find grant information now that Google has been invented (though part of the scholarship fun was the thrill of digging through the school counselor's file cabinets, which I'm sure the internet has eliminated). Googling is one of my talents (did anyone mention this in the "talents/skills" section of their reference letter to the agency???!??!).
This summer, I convinced a friend of mine to teach the kids piano. Though she wasn't sure she would like teaching or be good at it (she's great!!) she has since picked up several more piano students. Like, all of her afternoons are now full of piano lessons. Another friend (a talented seamstress and former home ec teacher) was trying to come up with a way to earn some extra money and I laid out a plan for her to teach a class on sewing while we were at a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese. Zak says I need to start selling my business ideas instead of giving them away for free. Ha.
The kids like piano and are doing well. All of the banging in the afternoon can sometimes give me a bit of a headache while I'm cooking dinner, but we all have to make sacrifices. I can think of much worse instruments. Storey doesn't exactly stick to the prescribed practice songs. She enjoys making up her own songs and the words to go with them. We are used to this as she makes up songs all day long. Especially when she is going to the bathroom.
Last Sunday I was asked to sub for the Primary chorister at the last minute. I walked in to the Primary room just as the teacher was talking to the kids about being honest and why they should be honest. Storey raised her hand and informed the Primary that when she tells lies her mom washes her mouth out with soap. So she doesn't want to lie anymore. I got a couple of looks, but just said, "Dang straight, I do" Storey realized I was in there and came over to give me big hugs and kisses. Feeling repentant for telling on me?
Children do make life interesting.
Saturday, September 06, 2014
Zak and I sat them down after church and had a family home evening type lesson. We talked about how Jesus was adopted by Joseph and how I was adopted and what the sealing power does. Then we explained that Zak and I have been praying about our family and that Heavenly Father wants us to add another family member through adoption. We mentioned China, but our children really have no idea where that is, so it didn't really sink in at first. Later we got out a globe and showed them how far away China is, but Storey asked today if the Chinese (in China) are Americans too. We'll keep working on that.
Their initial reaction was super excitement, but then Storey just burst into tears. She said she was nervous about the change and that our family is just the four of us and it's going to be so different. I totally understand because I have those same worries. It is going to be a big change and is a huge step into the unknown. After hearing a bit more of the details and a reminder that we have a long time to get used to the idea, she calmed down. But still wants a twin, which will be difficult.
Several comments from the kids:
- Jakson: Dad, who is adopted in your family? Is it Aunt Katy? And then later when we explaining that the child is going to look Chinese, Jakson said, "Just like Aunt Katy!" A few weeks ago he thought Aunt Katy was a black person. He's quite confused about Aunt Katy.
- Jakson's first question after we told them: Can I get a baby name book from the library?
- Jakson, also right after we told them: I'm crying happy tears.
- Storey: Can we get a twin for me? (she obviously doesn't understand the concept of twins).
- We explained that China has a rule about only having one child. Jakson was very worried that when we all go to China, we would have to give one of the kids to them because we have too many.
- After we are matched and the Chinese government approves the match, we can start sending gifts to the child at the orphanage. We told the kids about that. Storey ran to her room and got the most recent Friend magazine so she could show us an article all about care packages. She is already planning the first care package we should send using the list in the Friend.
- Jakson: We have such a good family. I thought that was very sweet of him to say.
- Jakson: What do orphans do all day? Clean? (obviously his only orphan reference is "Annie")
- After we asked Storey how she was feeling, she told us she is "nervexcited" A new word she coined from nervous and excited. It's a great way to describe how all of us feel :)
Wednesday, September 03, 2014
I am hosting an ONLINE beginner photo class! It's a six week, self paced, interactive class. Basically what I've been teaching in person for the last three years, but you don't have to change out of your pj's. Nothing better than that!!
If you are interested in signing up, enrollment will be open until this upcoming Sunday night. Class starts on Monday morning. It's a great way to learn all about your camera (I know you've been meaning to do that for a few years!). All of the class fees go towards the cost of our adoption of a child with special needs from China. Learn something new and feel good at the same time!
Sign up here: Online Photo Crash Course
Monday, September 01, 2014
Saturday, August 30, 2014
For the last three years, Zak and I have been trying to figure out what to do about our family size. We've prayed, fasted, taken our question to the Lord over and over and....nothing.
We researched foster care, talked to friends embarking on the foster journey and experienced foster parents, discussed the challenges and blessings fostering would give our children, but just never felt that God called us to foster.
So, we researched domestic adoption, talked to friends embarking on the adoption journey, and watched as some friends dealt with several failed adoptions. Heartbreaking. And not something we think the kids (especially Jakson) would be able to handle. But if the Lord wanted us to adopt, we were willing. Still, nothing.
After awhile, we decided that maybe "nothing" was our answer. And we were good with that. We are a great team of four. Four fits well in a double bed hotel room. Rides at Disney are often 2 or 4 across (you know THAT is important to us). Four ride comfortably in our smaller car. Our two kids are dearest friends and we love spending time together as family of four.
My mind just kept questioning: Was doing "nothing" right?
After our move a couple of months ago, family size was not on our minds at all. Occupying our thoughts instead were house goals: adding walls, knocking down walls, painting furniture, building furniture, unpacking the garage, putting up a pergola, removing chair rail, buying couches. The biggest goal we had was a major kitchen renovation and I was ready for it.
But then the question snuck in again. Zak and I talked about it and decided that we were going to take "nothing" for an answer once and for all. A decision needed to be made and maybe the Lord was letting us make it, so we did.
The next week was testimony meeting (members of the congregation bear testimony of their beliefs). Our good friend Joel bore his testimony about a difficult, life changing decision he needed to make. It was going to effect his career and his family. He said that he wrestled with the choice for awhile and didn't seem to receive an answer. He was living righteously, praying, reading his scriptures, and understood that sometimes the Lord stretches us by allowing us to make a decision first and then confirming that to us. In this case, Joel felt that he deserved an answer for this big, life changing decision and after exercising his faith, he received it.
That was the beginning of my answer.
I told Zak that we deserved an answer too. The Lord would not desert us with such a weighty decision. He would be faithful. And "nothing" wasn't our answer (I have to admit though, I really really hoped "pregnancy" wasn't the answer).
The answer came. Line upon line. Here a little and there a little.
My parents were getting ready for their year stint teaching in China. My mom made the offhand comment that she was going to pick up a baby for us in China on her way home.
Then we had our friend Alison and her family over for dinner. They adopted a little boy from China eighteen months ago. Alison and I talk a lot, but for some reason never in depth about Mason's adoption. Until dinner at our house. We spent a couple of hours discussing all of the ins and outs of adoption from China. I think she thought Zak and I were just interested as friends, but we ended the night by telling her that we were genuinely interested for ourselves. Something that shocked even us.
The following Sunday at church, talks were given that seemed to be just.for.us. Like the Lord was trying to tell us something....
This time we prayed with what we thought might be our answer. And rather than "nothing", we were given a big something. A something unexpected. A something kind of scary. But a something that is right.
The Vermillions are adding one more. This time all the way from China.