Disneyland and special needs.

Disney is amazing. Their customer service is completely over the top. Did you know if your Disney balloon pops or your ice cream falls in the park, you can just go get another one for free? You take the remains, show it to a cast member, and voila! No more tears. They work to literally make it the happiest place on earth.

And the way they treat families with special needs is exceptional. I have been impressed by them before, but this year more than ever.

Storey is a three year old obsessed with princesses. Her biggest goals at Disneyland were ride Toy Story Mania and meet princesses. Which poses a little bit of a problem when your older brother has three mortal fears: the dark, babies, and PRINCESSES. Knowing this trip was coming and understanding Storey's great passion for the fancy ladies, we asked Jakson's therapists for some help. The last four trips to therapy were solely focused on getting to the root of and hopefully alleviating his debilitating fears. But Jakson is a stubborn guy (and Zak believes he has a deep rooted fear of commitment that this all stems from. Always the jokester) and our attempts to help him failed. Miserably. In fact, every time we read him the social story his therapists had written entitled something along the lines "Princesses are not monsters" Jakson would put his head down and sob. His therapists felt like this was another important fear to face and encouraged us to go ahead with our princess plans.

On our first day in the parks I went to Town Hall to talk to guest services about getting Jakson's guest assistance pass. While I was there, I spoke with a wonderful cast member and explained our other situation. The princess debacle. She promptly called the head of entertainment to see what could be done, but let me know that she couldn't promise anything. Because she wasn't sure how long it would be before something could be arranged, she took my phone number and said she would call.

Not five minutes later I got a call letting me know that they had set up a private meeting with a princess for Storey. Would we please come back to Town Hall where they had a room set up for us? I was blown away. Disneyland is HUGE. There are thousands of people in the park every single day and they made an extra effort to do something memorable for one little three year old girl. One.

Without telling the kids what was going on (we didn't need a violent meltdown all the way down Main Street), we headed back. Megan and I ran into a shop along the way to grab a little car. Our hope was to slip the princess the toy and have her "give" it to Jakson. Maybe that would help ingratiate her to him?

We walked into the room and found not one princess, but Cinderella, Ariel, the Fairy Godmother, and Perla (one of Cinderella's mice friends). All for Storey. I think she was seriously in shock. Storey is NEVER silent-but she was almost completely mute for 45 minutes straight. They looked at her pins, talked to her about her trip, let her lay all over them,. hugged her, made best friend pinky promises, asked if she had glass slippers, sang songs....it was AMAZING. I've never been emotional about princesses before, but I think every adult in the room teared up at some point. Having a brother with special needs means she gets overlooked more than I'd like, so I was thrilled that Storey was able to have a moment just about her. It was definitely magical.

Cinderella giving Jakson the car.

Unfortunately, Jakson wasn't feeling the magic. Zak held him in the corner where he cried, screamed, and begged to leave. Cinderella gave him the car, but he kept his head down and took it without saying thank you (very uncharacteristic for him). After about 15 minutes, we decided he had fulfilled his duty and he left the room while Storey stayed and hugged the princesses for about 20 minutes longer. They didn't rush us or make us feel like they had somewhere more important to be. The way they acted, Storey was the only little girl in the entire park.

I could not be more appreciative of the way we were treated. Jakson facing this fear in a public place with hundreds of other kids looking on would have been miserable for everyone, not to mention humiliating for him. In this intimate setting we were able to accomplish both of our aims for Storey and Jak with very little drama. I am one very happy mother.

And this is why we plan a vacation to Disneyland year after year.

I do realize that most people will not want to watch this (and I'm not offended), but for those that do, here are a few minutes from the time we spend with the Disney Princesses. Notice Storey's uncharacteristic silence.

Disney Day One

Sunday we drove from Vegas to Anaheim with Megan and Kiefer (Zak's sister and her husband). That night we put the kids to bed and about 45 minutes after they fell asleep, Jakson rolled out of bed and smacked his head on the side table. He was so exhausted that he did not even wake up! I had to check several times to make sure that he was indeed still breathing.

As a solution, we created pseudo bed rails on both sides of the bed with the chairs in the room and a couple of pillows. I know, genius.

The next morning we met up with Melissa and had our traditional First Day breakfast at Mimi's Cafe. BOGO coupons and Mickey Mouse pancakes.

Because we are all about predictability, I had written out a schedule for the day. We had discussed it with the kids and had even watched it ride by ride in order. Like I said before, I was almost sick of some of the rides by the time we arrived.

We ended up getting into California Adventure before the park actually opened, but they had already started taking people on the new Ariel attraction. Despite the fact that the Ariel ride was second on our agenda, we decided to ride it anyway. Cue Jakson's first meltdown at Disney. Oh, what fun. Finally we convinced him that Ariel was not going to come alive in the middle of the ride and do whatever horrible Princesses do, he went with us. A little dragging may have been involved. Storey was in mermaid heaven.

Once we finished that ride, the rest of the park was open and we were able to go on the originally intended first ride: Toy Story Mania. A crowd favorite.

Everyone wearing their 3D glasses. I think Jakson was still mad. I got a thumbs up, but he wouldn't look at me.

After that we stuck to our regularly scheduled program, so Jak was happy.

Jak and Aunt Melissa on Jumpin' Jellyfish.

We also spent some time getting autographs and posing for pictures along the Boardwalk.

Then we hung out with Hip Hop Mickey.

The rest of this story will come later, but after finishing up at California Adventure, we headed over to the Magic Kingdom where we met with some Princesses. Not Jakson's favorite moment.

But first we had our picture taken in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle. Can you believe of all the times we have been, we've never done that?!? It's like Disney blasphemy.

After the Princess meetup, Jak had a tough time. His anxiety level was high and he was overstimulated. Our biggest mistake of the trip was to get in line for Space Mountain at this point. Sometimes parents do dumb things. This is the incident known to all on our trip as Spacegate 2012.

Jakson has been talking about Space Mountain for MONTHS. And when I say months, I mean basically since our last trip. He told everyone that Space Mountain was his favorite ride. So of course it was on our agenda the first day. We stood in line for no more than 10 minutes, but the closer we got to the front, the more anxious Jakson got. Now anyone who knows Jakson's anxiety well knows that it is both unpredictable and irrational. Last year, after riding Buzz Lightyear at least 10 times, he suddenly decided that the aliens on the ride were going to eat him and refused to go on it again. Not willing to let his irrational fears rob him of fun, Zak and I dragged him screaming and kicking on the ride. Half way through he stopped screaming, grabbed a laser gun and never looked back. Lest you think we are terrible parents for inflicting such a thing on him, if we avoided things because of Jakson's fears, we would never do or go ANYWHERE. His fears have to be faced. Which was our rationale when we chose to go through with Space Mountain. Zak sat him down in the seat (he was screaming) and the ride began to go, but instead of the usual direction, our car was rerouted to a holding area and we were told to get out.

Please know that I love Disney. And this is probably their policy. The cast members were following protocol. I also completely understand that no one else will ever completely understand what we deal with as parents of Jakson. I'm sure to an outsider it looked as if we were forcing our perfectly normal child on a ride against his will. And frankly, it was against his will. But again, we would never do anything if we catered everything to his will. We would not even watch a new DVD (he is scared of any new movie) like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which he informed us after throwing a 20 minute fit and then watching, is his new favorite show.

I think the most upsetting part was that he was calm by the time our car pulled around the corner and probably would have had an enjoyable ride.

It really is a parenting conundrum for us. One I wish we had all of the answers for, but are trying to do our best with.* In the end, Jakson did not ride Space Mountain (though he still swears it is his favorite ride) and I cried through the entire roller coaster. So, Melissa, I'm sorry if my tears splattered you.

Not exactly the most delightful ending for our first day at the park, but we did try to redeem it with some pin trading and rides for the adults. Between fast passes and baby switch, we were able to ride all of the big attractions on the first day.

That night we attempted to go to World of Color but there were technical difficulties due to the rain (and it was freezing!!) so we opted to head back to the hotel instead. Overall, we had a very good day. I was determined not to let one incident ruin the trip.

*There is a something I wish I could say to everyone who sat in that Space Mountain car with us. And every adult who has ever shot a look of "terrible parent" in my direction during a public meltdown. Casting judgement on parents is often not accurate. 1 in every 110 children and 1 in every 60 boys has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum. That is a lot. You don't know if the "bad" kid you are seeing falls into these statistics. Please have compassion. Autism is known as the invisible disability. There is nothing obvious or physical that screams "I have autism!" Dirty looks and whispered commentary are not helpful. Incidents like this are embarrassing, horrifying, and incredibly emotional for the parents involved. You do not understand and for your sake, I hope you never do. The best way you can help a parent in this situation is to hold your judgment.

The other lesson I have learned is to carry autism cards like this one. I think I will print some off and keep them in my purse all the time.

Cute Little Thief

Drama in the Disneyland lines.

Storey came in a few minutes ago rattling her pockets while explaining that she can now buy a treat at the store. Knowing that she just spent all of her coins at Disneyland on a souvenir (a princess notebook for her lists, if you were wondering), I asked her where she got the money.

The reply? Daddy's side table.
Definitely not the first time she's pilfered from him. When I was taking apart her crib in preparation for the move to Texas, I discovered FORTY TWO DOLLARS stuffed into nooks and crannies of it. In bills. Awesome.

She went on to explain that she found it on his side table and so it now belongs to her. Her exact phrase was "I sneaked it from you and now it's mine."

I believe this is a case of finders keepers. Frankly, I worry sometimes about her thieving ways. Will she follow in the footsteps of the likes of Winona Ryder???

Disneyland on the Cheap-2012

I know. We've been home THREE WHOLE DAYS and not one Disneyland recap post. I was buried by laundry and am just now digging myself out.
Laundry is like the circle of life. It's never ending.

So Disneyland....
We had a marvelous time. In fact, I would turn around and drive back today if I could. We fixed most of the mistakes we made last year and that made things run so much smoother. On our way home, we made a list of the best things that we did, mainly so we can remember what worked for next time. The plan is WDW 2014!

Disney Tips 2012

• Guest Assistance Pass-I realize that most people can't take advantage of this, but it is the best thing that has ever happened to the Vermillion family. Jak + crowds + noise + lines = big mess. But with the guest assistance pass we get to go in the exit or through the Fastpass line (depends on the ride). It makes all the difference in the world, though sometimes we suffer through dirty looks. A couple of times I started feeling some guilt about using it because Jakson was in a happy mood during that moment, but Zak reminded me that it is a form of respite for parents who deal with the struggles we do in the parks (i.e. complete meltdown every time a human looking character passes, crazy fit on various rides that he previously loved, etc). If you have a child with special needs, please please please get this pass. It will change your entire Disney experience. Just go to Town Hall to talk to a cast member about getting one for your family.

• Pin Trading- Best. Idea. Ever! Especially if you have a little one that aren't tall enough for roller coasters. Rather than have a tantrum while the big kids go on fun rides, go pin trading! It's free (once you buy the pins-which can be super cheap if you use Ebay) and the kids can trade over and over again. We started out with some seriously lame pins, but by the end both Storey and Jak had character pins that they loved. We only traded with cast members (no civilian Disney goers). I didn't think there would be that many carrying pins on them, but it was pretty much every other cast member we came to. And in most shops inside the park there were one or two employees toting pins. Jakson was a little wary of the whole thing at first, but he got really into it and started collecting monorail pins by the end. I really wish we would have done it in years past. We got our pins here. We paid $15 with free shipping for 25 pins. That's an awesome price. Pins in the park sell for about $7/pin! And since you can exchange them for anything, it doesn't really matter what you start out with. If you want to save on lanyards as well, here's the link to a little tutorial I put together for making your own. Very easy project (and we got lots of compliments on them!)


• Watching rides on You Tube-This isn't something new (we did it last year), but we also learned on our 2011 trip that we must watch EVERY ride. Even the ones we think he is really familiar with and loves. By the time we get to Disneyland, if he has seen it 10 times in weeks previous, we are less likely to have an anxiety attack about it. The only problem with You Tube is I'm sick of half the rides before we even get to the parks. I mean, have you ever watched It's a Small World on You Tube???!? Multiple times?? Yuck.
  

• Quality Inn-This was our Priceline hotel for 2012. We paid $30/night and it came with microwave, fridge (in room) and an awesome hot breakfast in the morning! We stayed in a La Quinta on the way home and the Quality Inn breakfast was so much better. The room was a little on the small side, but worked for the short time we were actually in the room. I had read mixed reviews and was worried that it would be dirty or something, but we were very happy with the cleanliness. Definitely not a four star hotel, but then we were there for Disneyland, not for a fancy room. The best part was the walk to the park. Maybe 10 minutes. So much closer than our hotel last year that boasted of an easy walk. My feet were very grateful! If you are interested in booking the hotel, just use the Name Your Own Price feature on Priceline and pick Anaheim North and 2.5 stars. Currently Quality Inn is the only 2.5 star hotel in the area. So if you win, that will be your hotel. My sister in law and I both were able to get the hotel for $30/night, but we went at an off peak time.
  

• Renting a car and a stroller-Rather than put wear and tear on our car (and to get better gas mileage), we rented a smaller car. This meant that we couldn't fit our very large stroller into the back if we were going to take anything else with us. I did some research on renting strollers in the park and decided that wasn't a good fit for us. Instead I rented from City Stroller Rentals. Our experience with them was phenomenal and the price was great! They delivered the double jogging stroller straight to our hotel and picked it up after we checked out (so convenient when you don't want to make one more stop). The customer service was personal and we were so relieved to not have to worry about trying to ship a stroller or some other nonsense. I highly, highly recommend.

• Sleeping bags-Two kids that kick sharing a hotel double bed means a lot of "he's touching me!" all night long. We got the kids sleeping bags and it solved that issue. Then we could also turn the air conditioning down as low as we wanted without worrying they were going to get cold during the night. Win all around.

• Dress ups from home-Little girls all over the park were wearing princess dresses. I checked the price tags in a couple of the shops on those and they weren't pretty. When you are already paying so much to get in, why add one more excessive price on top? Storey got a couple of princess dresses for Christmas and so we packed them along. She got to dress just like Sleeping Beauty and didn't spend a dime (and I got the dresses originally for about $5 at the local thrift shop in the first place!)

• Ponchos for Splash Mountain- Really this needs no explanation. Wet kids are unhappy kids.

• More adults, less kids- Our ratio was two on two and three subs. Awesome.


• Meet Mickey on the Hollywood Backlot in California Adventure-Sure, he's not in his traditional red and black getup, but Hip-Hop Mickey has a much shorter line! Wait only 5 minutes to meet him instead of 90 minutes at Mickey's house in Toon Town. After the hip-hop show is over, he is available to sign autographs. Just ride Monster's Inc while you wait for the dancing/singing to conclude and then head over to the stage. Another perk: taking photos outdoors makes for much better lighting than the dark room they use in Mickey's House!!

• Menu plan-I know it might sound ridiculous to do this at Disneyland, but it will save you so much money. We printed off all the coupons we needed at home and were able to tell the kids on a daily basis where and what we were eating. We're all about predictability. One food deal discovery I made this year was a coupon for Tortilla Jo's. It only works if you are going to the parks within 60 days of your birthday, but sign up for their club and they'll send you a coupon for $30 off your order of $30 or more. And Tortilla Jo's is located right in Downtown Disney, so you don't have to go far. Sign up here. We did Mimi's (and their Mickey shaped pancakes!) again this year, but if we stay at the Quality Inn again, we'll forgo that and eat the free breakfast instead.

The one thing we would do differently: It's sometimes hard to guess how Jakson will react to various situations. He has terrible anxiety and that coupled with some of the sensory challenges that come along with autism make him very unpredictable. We've realized that even though he has been to Disneyland 3 times before, it still takes him awhile to adjust to the "new" environment. We tried to push him into things that were unfamiliar and therefore uncomfortable (pin trading, a couple of rides he'd never been on but we'd watched 10+ times on You Tube) the first day. Instead we need to take that day easy. List the kids' top ten favorite rides and focus on those familiar rides the first day. We were dealing with a lot of meltdowns that I think could have been prevented had we waited until Day Two to push him. Because Day Two came and he was willing to try a few new things without a huge issue. Lesson learned.

If you are interested in reading all of the other money saving/DIY/special needs tips I've written from our trips in the past, go here.

One true love

On our way home we've stopped briefly in Phoenix to see family/friends. When we asked Jakson if he was more excited about Disneyland or more excited about Phoenix, he quickly informed us that Phoenix was better than Disneyland.

If we had only known before we spent all that money.

Specifically there is one person in Phoenix that is better than all of Disneyland.
Natalie.
Jakson's one true love.

Jakson around Natalie is the real Jakson. I love to watch them play together because he doesn't have much of his usual awkwardness. He is so comfortable. Even if they don't end up getting married (though both of them matter of factly tell us they will), I love their little since birth friendship.

11 months

Two years.

Almost six years old (born one week apart!)

Not Jakson's Favorite Ride

Jakson talked about Splash Mountain for MONTHS before our trip to Disney. I can't even remember how many times we watched the ride on You Tube- definitely in the double digits. But go-time came and Jakson was a little worried. We were very proud of him for going despite his nervousness (unlike the incident that shall be referred to as Space Gate 2012), but afterwards he informed us that he'll probably like the ride better when he's a little older.

Seven to be exact. We're very specific around here.

I have a sneaky feeling that Uncle Kiefer (who was smartly wearing a poncho) and Daddy had a good time though.

Just hanging out with Mickey.